


Sleep close to me

by Ali_tries_writing



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Cuddling, Gold Sickness (Tolkien), Kissing, Literal Sleeping Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-30
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:34:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24456013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ali_tries_writing/pseuds/Ali_tries_writing
Summary: "I apologise for startling you so, Master Baggins."Bilbo smiled sheepishly, embarrassed."It is quite all right, Thorin," said Bilbo, "And call me Bilbo, all the others do."Thorin's eyes met Bilbo's."Bilbo," he said carefully, as if trying out the word for the first time.A series of tender (and not so tender) moments between Thorin and Bilbo during their journey to the Lonely Mountain.
Relationships: Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield
Comments: 15
Kudos: 91





	1. After the Eagles

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what to tell you, this was originally written in 2016 and now with some minor editing, guess i'm gonna post it.  
> Compliant with the Peter Jackson films, unless I decide to add an ending where no-one dies.

Climbing down from the Carrock where the eagles had left them took most of the day and Bilbo was finding it difficult to put one foot in front of the other. He wasn't the only one. None of them had gotten any rest since they had been caught by the goblins and they'd all been doing a good lot of running, not to mention their battle with Azog and the Wargs.

Thorin had of course been the target of most of the blows from the fight but whatever Gandalf did to heal him had done him a world of good and he seemed to have more energy than any of them. He was in the lead - quite fair away from Bilbo at the back - and was the only one (except Gandalf) who had not yet stumbled on the steep rocky slope. Thorin had insisted that they find somewhere less exposed before taking any rest and while Bilbo wouldn't have been thrilled at spending any more time than necessary so high up, he couldn't help but feel that the long climb down wasn't quite what any of them deserved. Despite his fatigue however, however, he had to admit that Thorin's strength and reserve were the only things keeping him moving.

By the time they reached the bottom the sun was just disappearing in the west. The Lonely Mountain, which they had been able to make out that morning, was nowhere to be seen, although once or twice Bilbo thought he saw Thorin or Balin gazing wistfully to the east.

The night brought with it chill so Oin and Gloin took out their tinder boxes to start a fire but Gandalf stopped them.

"We've got an orc-pack on our tail," he said gruffly, "do you want to make it easier for them to track us?"

Bilbo sat down glumly at that, for he had come to find that he felt the cold more sharply than the dwarves. He was cheered up when Bombur revealed a large food pack which he had brought from Rivendell, filled with fine cheese and bread which was as fresh as if it had just been taken from the oven. No-one seemed to wonder about how Bombur had held onto the pack through the Misty Mountains and their eagle flight as they each devoured their portion.

Bilbo thought longingly of Rivendell. The Last Homely House was indeed aptly named as it had felt more homely than even Bag End - if that were possible!

The night was well and truly upon them by the time they finished eating and the dwarves began to lay down their bedding rolls in twos or threes and Kili took his seat for the first watch. Gandalf was nowhere to be seen.

As always, Bilbo retreated back slightly from the company. It was at night that he always felt most out of place. Not only where the rest of the company all dwarves, but they were all family. He watched Dori fuss over Ori's blanket and Bifur, Bofur and Bombur lying so close he could barely tell where one ended and another began. It made it perfectly clear that he was an outsider - an intruder.

Bilbo shifted into a more comfortable position on the rocky ground and wrapped his blanket around him to keep out the worst of the cold night air, shuddering to think that it would only get colder. As he rearranged the blanket, his fingers brushed against the ring he had found in the caves, the mysterious, magic ring which had turned him invisible and helped him to escape. He stroked the ring absentmindedly and didn't even register Thorin's approach until his pack landed right next to Bilbo's head.

Bilbo jumped, yelped in surprise and quickly dropped the ring back in his pocket. Thorin chuckled softly as he lay down close by.

"I apologise for startling you so, Master Baggins."

Bilbo smiled sheepishly, embarrassed.

"It is quite all right, Thorin," said Bilbo, "And call me Bilbo, all the others do."

Thorin's eyes met Bilbo's.

"Bilbo," he said carefully, as if trying out the word for the first time.

They remained like that for a moment, before Thorin tore his eyes away and busied himself with untying his pack and pulling out his own neatly folded blanket.

Bilbo glanced at Fili, Thorin's nephew, lying alone while Kili took the first watch, and glanced back at Thorin who was now shaking out the blanket.

"Is there no-one else whom you would rather sleep near?" Bilbo asked tentatively. He had never before got the idea that Thorin much liked him, let alone would choose to be with him over his kin.

"I know you feel the cold more than we do." he said, draping the blanket over both himself and Bilbo, "Let me help, as a thank you. You did save my life after all."

Bilbo nodded and looked away, feeling his ears turn slightly pink at his words. He heard Thorin chuckle again before a companionable silence fell between them.

The slight breeze had been cut off immediately by the extra blanket and now the warmth from Thorin's body was seeping across the gap between them. The gap between them which had seemed so small when Thorin had lain down now looked like a vast expanse. Bilbo wondered if he dared shift closer to the source of the warmth. He looked up at Thorin to gauge whether he appeared inviting or not, and found that Thorin was staring at him, as if enchanted.

"You have proven yourself to be worthy of a place in our company," murmured Thorin, so that Bilbo had to strain to hear. "I misjudged you when we first met. I apologise. Gandalf was right, there is truly more to hobbits than meets the eye."

Thorin reached out his arm and touched Bilbo's cheek with a gentle hand.

That, thought Bilbo, was an invitation. He scooted closer, until he was resting his head against Thorin's chest. No cold night air could find him here, safe and warm in Thorin's arms.

"Goodnight, Master Baggins." came a low voice from just above Bilbo's ear.

Bilbo lifted his head to glare at him, although he couldn't keep the smile off his face.

"Goodnight, _Thorin_."

Bilbo rested his head once more and closed his eyes, sleep dragging him down almost at once. He could just barely hear Thorin's voice whisper "Goodnight, Bilbo," before sleep took him.

* * *

A few hours later, when Kili came to wake Thorin for the second watch of the night, he discovered the hobbit, nestled so cosily against Thorin that he couldn't bear to wake them both. He crept away again to wake Fili instead. It was about time his lazy brother took a watch anyway.


	2. Mirkwood

Bilbo was already anxious about entering Mirkwood even before Gandalf left them. He'd heard stories of the dangers thought to lurk in the Old Forest on the border of the Shire, but at least that forest looked green, fresh and healthy. Mirkwood felt sick, as if all the colour had been drained from it by some spell - perhaps, Bilbo wondered, that was exactly what had happened.

"No matter what may come, stay on the path!"

Gandalf's parting advice had not seemed difficult at all when he had said it, but Bilbo and the dwarves soon discovered that staying on the path was no easy thing to do. The path twisted and turned this way and that and there was never room to walk more than two abreast. In places it was so covered with rotting leaves that Thorin (who was in the lead) had to stop to clear them to ensure they never strayed.

The thick canopies above let through little light, so it was near impossible to tell night from day. The company walked until they were too exhausted to continue. Every time they stopped to sleep it was a mixed blessing. On one hand, they all needed the rest, but on the other, every night they stopped meant another day spent walking, and none of the wanted to spend more time than they had to in the forest.

On the first night beneath the trees (or what they thought was night), Bilbo automatically sought out Thorin, and Thorin lifted his blanket without a word to allow Bilbo to join him. He curled into Thorin's chest, fitting his head below his chin just as he had on that cold night after the climb from the Carrock.

The night in Mirkwood however was not cold. On the contrary, the heat seemed to be pressing in on all sides, like a fever from the sickness of the trees. But Bilbo would rather spend the night in the extra heat of Thorin's embrace than sleep alone, afraid and exposed. At every tiny sound Bilbo twitched and when a branch creak as some animal moved across it, his hand jumped up to clutch at Thorin's tunic.

Thorin's hand enclosed Bilbo's and he shifted to rest his forehead against Bilbo's.

"Shhh, be still," he whispered, "Bofur is on watch, nothing can come near without him knowing about it."

"How can you be so unafraid?" asked Bilbo, a little ashamed.

"Years of learning to hide it." Thorin replied, adding, "And I'll admit your presence here is helping."

Bilbo let out a huff of a laugh.

"What could I possibly do to protect you?"

"Something brave and utterly foolish." answered Thorin with an affectionate smile.

A moment - which seemed to lay an eternity - passed and then Thorin was learning closer until his lips were brushing against Bilbo's. Bilbo moved away in surprise and Thorin instantly started talking.

"Bilbo, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that, I -"

"Don't … don't apologise." Bilbo interrupted.

And he closed the distance between them again.

Bilbo and Thorin kissed desperately, only breaking apart for air, chasing down their fears until they were only tiny worries in the back of the mind which could wait until later. Danger still lurked around every corner and the fears would return in the morning but at least for now, they could escape in each other.


	3. Laketown

The Master of Laketown only had one spare bedroom - all the others were apparently so waterdamaged that there were gaping holes in the in the walls or ceiling. It was agreed without discussion that Thorin would take this room, and so the rest of the company were given leave to sleep in the dining hall - not that Bofur had waited for permission.

Bilbo was just grateful to be inside. The winter was quickly arriving and a bitter wind blew onto the exposed lake, rattling through the poorer houses and finding every tiny street. A fire still burned in the grate of the dining hall, making the one of the warmest to be found in Laketown.

Bilbo was wandering the room, trying to decide on the best place to lay his blanket, when a voice behind him brought him out of his thoughts.

"Will you not join me in my room?"

Bilbo turned to see Thorin, leaning against the doorway just a few yards away.

"I ..." Bilbo started, and looked back to the other dwarves who were laying down their blankets and talking in low voices, completely deaf to Thorin and Bilbo.

They hadn't been secretive about their sleeping arrangements over the past week, but neither had they spoken of them in front of the others.

"I did not know if you would want me." Bilbo finished, somewhat weakly.

The corner of Thorin's mouth lifted up in a hint of a smile.

"Well, I do." he said simply.

He took Bilbo's hand and, unresisting, Bilbo allowed himself to be led from the dining hall.

When they reached the bedroom, Bilbo made straight for the bed - he was very tired and they would have a long journey tomorrow if they were to reach the mountain by the end of Durin's Day. It was only when Bilbo sat down on the edge of the bed that he noticed that Thorin was no longer with him. He was standing at the window, gazing out across the lake. The north-facing window.

Bilbo stood up again, crossed to the window, spoke Thorin's name and hesitantly touched his arm. Thorin didn't respond, but nor did he pull away. He just continued to stare out across the lake to the Lonely Mountain. Bilbo followed his gaze.

The blueish moonlight reflected off the rippling water and the mountain was just visible in the dim light, a vast shadow protruding from the ground.

After a minute of it was Thorin who finally broke the silence.

"One hundred and seventy-one years."

Bilbo blinked and looked up at him.

"Wh - what?"

"That's how long since I've been there," answered Thorin, "How long since Smaug took everything from us."

Bilbo let out a long puff of air.

"That … that's a long time." he said finally, somewhat redundantly.

Thorin sighed and said, "Well do I know it."

"You'll get it back." Bilbo said, determined.

Thorin didn't seem to be listening, so Bilbo turned him away from the window and didn't go on until he was sure Thorin was paying attention.

"Do you hear me? I said you'll get it back, I'll help you. I will help you in whatever way I can."

"I know you will." Thorin agreed, nodding.

"And," added Bilbo, taking Thorin's hand and pulling further from the window, "I'll start right now. We have a busy day tomorrow and we need to sleep. Won't you sleep with me?"

Bilbo only realised the connotations of what he had said after the words had left his mouth.

It appeared that that Thorin had too.

"Oh well, if you insist."

Without giving Bilbo a chance to respond, Thorin took his face in both hands and drew him into a deep kiss.

It wasn't like in Mirkwood. These weren't kisses to drive away the fears of the forest. These were kisses of deep trust and affection and maybe something more that Bilbo dared not hope for.

Thorin's hands left Bilbo's face and moved down his body, slipping under his borrowed coat as he went.

Bilbo allowed Thorin's hands to explore and caress, revelling in his touch. But when one came to rest on the buckle of his belt, Bilbo reluctantly broke away from Thorin's lips and stopped him.

"Thorin," he said, bringing Thorin's hand up to his lips and kissing each fingertip to make sure he knew it wasn't a rejection. "Thorin, I meant it. We're leaving in a few hours, we need to sleep."

Thorin wordlessly stole another kiss from Bilbo before he could stop him, and then broke away to rest his forehead against Bilbo's.

"Another time?" he asked, eyes and voice full of hope.

"Another time." Bilbo answered.

That night there was no need to lie close to share warmth, nor to offer comfort, yet Bilbo curled into Thorin's chest and allowed himself to be held just the same.

* * *

At some time during the course of the morning, Thorin's anxiety returned stronger than ever. Bilbo could only watch with the others in shock when Kili was told he could not join them. This decision was more practical, for sure, but it felt wrong. Thorin was wrong. How could he not see that?


	4. Inside the Mountain

"We kill the dragon. If this is to end in fire, then we will all burn together!"

The dwarves discussed their plan at length, although in truth most of the talking was done by Balin and Thorin, who knew the mountain well. Bilbo listened as best he could, but when the discussion turned to the workings of the forges, found he could make neither head nor tail of it all.

When the plan was finally in place, Thorin drew him aside with a hand on his shoulder.

"We don't have much time," he said hurriedly, "are you all right?"

Bilbo swallowed, looking at his feet, the walls, at the other dwarves talking quietly, anywhere but Thorin's eyes.

"Fine - I'm fine, I'm perfectly fine."

He couldn't have sounded less convincing if he tried, but Thorin only raised his eyebrows in disbelief. He lowered his voice further.

"What I did … before. I shouldn't have sent you in here alone and I shouldn't have stopped you from leaving. I'm sorry."

Bilbo didn't reply but finally met Thorin's eyes. The jealous glint and threatening glare were completely gone, replaced only with worry and the same affection Bilbo had seen there in Laketown. Thorin had been temporarily overcome by the sight of the gold but he was back now.

Bilbo guiltily felt the weight of the Arkenstone in his pocket but Smaug's echoed in his mind.

_I am almost tempted to let you take it, if only to see Oakenshield suffer. Watch it destroy him. Watch it corrupt his heart..._

And besides, what good could the stone do for them now.

So Bilbo said nothing of the stone, but reached up on the tips of his toes to capture Thorin's lips in a kiss. Thorin's hands came up to cradle Bilbo's head and they stayed like that, lost in the moment. For not long enough.

Thorin broke away all too soon.

"We must leave now, while we are still able." he said loudly, his voice echoing in the small cavern.

At once the dwarves picked up their swords and axes. Bilbo looked resolutely to the cavern opening but his trembles betrayed his fear.

Thorin took his hand and squeezed it gently.

"I would bid you stay here, if I thought it would be any safer for you."

Bilbo nodded once and squeezed back. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, forcing a smile on his face.

"Well, what are we waiting for?" he said finally, "Let's kill a dragon!"


	5. Something was wrong

Something was wrong.

Bilbo had been wrong. Thorin wasn't back to normal. Smaug had distracted him from the treasure but now the dragon was dead and the look was back. The look in Thorin's eyes, the one he had had when he blocked Bilbo's path with his sword. He wouldn't listen to any of them, not even when Dwalin suggested they go back to Laketown to look for Kili and the others.

Bilbo felt slightly ashamed of himself. He had been so preoccupied with worrying about Thorin (and before then, think he was going to be burnt to a crisp by a dragon) that he had all but forgotten about Kili being ill, not to mention that they would have been at the heart of Smaug's attack on Laketown.

But Thorin was having none of it. He had told them not to leave the mountain. Or more like forbade them. Apart from that, nothing he said made sense. He walked among the gold, occasionally stopping to pick up a jewel or golden plate and mutter to himself.

When any of the dwarves approached him he would shrug them off, responding only long enough to make it clear their company was not welcome. Besides, the other dwarves were also overwhelmed with the treasure. Nowhere near as much as Thorin was, but they could all be seen at some time or another walking through the halls, gazing in wonder.

Bilbo mostly stayed out of their way, until one by one the dwarves lay down to sleep. Bilbo too was exhausted. He hadn't slept since that night with Thorin in the master's house and now the morning of the day after Durin's day was creeping up on them. Bilbo convinced himself that if he could just get Thorin away from the gold, if he could make him lie down and sleep, then he would be back to himself when he awoke.

So with this in mind, Bilbo made his way over to Thorin, trying not to clatter against the gold too much as he went. Even when he reached his side, Thorin didn't seem to notice he was there, so Bilbo touched his arm gently, as he had done in Laketown, hoping to bring Thorin out of his thoughts and into reality.

"Thorin-" Bilbo started to say, but stopped as his breath caught.

Thorin had grabbed Bilbo and was holding him firmly by the wrist. His eyes swept downwards and then up again, taking over Bilbo's smaller frame before fixing on his face. Need, desire, lust blazed in his eyes.

Bilbo was so shocked and frightened that he forgot what he had came to say. Frightened for Thorin, not frightened of him (or so he told himself.) He just stood there, letting out shaky breaths and trying to ease his wrist out of Thorin's grasp.

Thorin only tightened his grip further and Bilbo gasped at the twinge of pain. He was certain that Thorin could feel his pulse at his wrist, racing at twice the normal speed.

"Thorin," he said finally, struggling to keep his voice steady, "Thorin, let me go."

At first, the grip tightened even more, but then it released him. Bilbo staggered backward clumsily, sending golden coins flying in every direction.

Thorin gazed at his hand in horror for a moment, but then he turned his back on Bilbo and went back to his muttering. It was as if he had completely forgotten Bilbo was there.

Bilbo continued to walk backwards, breathing hard and didn't stop his retreat until he was around a corner and well out of sight of Thorin. He eventually went to find somewhere comfortable to sleep in the draughty mountain. Cold, afraid for Thorin's sanity, and utterly alone.

Something was definitely wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last of what I finished writing 4 years ago, there's another installment that I started that didn't really go anywhere so I'll see if I can make something of that. I've been blown away by all your kudos and lovely comments so thank you very much. Maybe I'll rewatch the films and see if further inspiration strikes...


End file.
